BRAIN: ok, we’re rebranding guinea pig meat to be more acceptable. Â What do we call it?
WILL: short pig
WILL: in honor of the long pig, the best kind of meat
MARK: soy tofu
MARK: wait, no
MARIE: I suggested ‘petite pork’
MARK: qinoa chia combucha kale
MARK: or “qcck” for short
MARIE: not to be confused with quokka
MARIE: our next hipster new meat
BRAIN: this slim jim competitor could be named QUACK ATTACK
MARK: “contains no duck!”
MARK: to make the vegetarians happy
MARIE: “No actual pigs were harmed in the making of this product.”
SCOTT: How would you even get sufficient meat off of a quokka?
MARK: people manage it with squirrels
MARIE: People eat quail
BRAIN: chicken feet
SCOTT: fair enough
SCOTT: apparently quokkas only have a litter size of one and rear the young for over a year