So yesterday Lil Dy and I went to IKEA and got lost in the labrynth for a few hours, walking up and down the identical aisles until we forgot why we were there… We were in Home Office when we suddenly remembered we needed to replace our office furniture to accomodate our new machines.
We sat in a bunch of chairs, trying each of the desks… we found a really cool one, an L-shaped desk called EFFEKTIV, which had a “left” and “right” version, so we could get matching desks facing each other (“awwwwww…”). At $40 each they were a steal. But when we inquired about them, we found that at least one of the sides was totally sold out, and the other was almost down to the floor models. They did have another line called GALLANT, however… at something like twice the price. We left. This morning we went to Office MAX or Office Depot or something like that and looked at desks- they were all over $200. After almost getting kicked out of the store for having races on the inflatable ball chairs, I was thinking maybe we should just get one of the new line of IKEA desks… we had an appointment which ended at 4pm in Oakland, so we thought we’d give IKEA another try. At IKEA the second time in two days we found our desks again- we looked at GALLANT again and decided to bite the bullet. But wait- now it looked like only one SIDE of the EFFEKTIV desks were sold out. And a lot of people were fondling the floor model. Maybe if we hurried… So we went straight down (as straight as you can at IKEA anyway; the place is a maze) to the warehouse area to pick up our two identical desks. But the boxes were labelled very strangely- each desk was made up of the wooden surface (astoundingly only $10) and had a choice of leg options. I really wanted the “T” legs- with fewer, wider legs (one at each end) there is less crap below the desk surface, which means you are less likely to kick a leg when you are working, plus “T” legs are more stable… however they use some elaborate “Bar” undercarriage. Asking the guy at the Information desk he couldn’t really figure out what the different parts were for. We went back the winding path upstairs. Back at the desks we tried to put together our order. Someone with more of a clue than our friend downstairs in the warehouse informed us that while we could buy the legs, the bar undercarriage part was completely out of stock… We had to get the simpler, “post” legs. Not as sturdy, but more of them. Well ok. The desks are only $40 people! Although it was beginning to look like that was because they were being discontinued- The wooden top of GALLANT by itself costs $109. That’s $109 for a finished piece of wood with some holes in it. Amazing. Finally we bought our desks. We have now been at IKEA for over an hour. Suddenly we realise there is no way it’s fitting in my car. Okay… we will leave our purchases at IKEA, drive home, get Lil Dy’s convertible, and drive the desks back with the top down. Sounds like a plan! Almost an hour later we are back at IKEA and after navigating the parking lot we are loading the desks in the back seat. But while the metal pieces fit in the back seat and only stick out a few inches, the giant wood surfaces stick about 4 feet out of the car, like a giant sail. Hmm… we decide to drive back anyway, but only use surface streets to get back home to San Leandro. Driving at 20 mph, every time the wind picks up our 100 lb sail moves and sways… We drive down Broadway. People point and laugh, for the most part it is a good time. Lil Dy is not a happy camper. She can feel this thing about to fall out of the car. And then we end up on Independence, which is one of the worst areas of Oakland. We slowly drive down the main drag where a large percentage of the 100+ murders in Oakland happened last year, at about 20 mph in a cherry-red convertible carrying about 100 lbs of boxes. We look like a giant red target. On the other hand, you’d have to be some kind of idiot to try to jack our car… We finally make it back after almost two hours of harrowing driving. So all in all, we spent over 6 hours just today getting these damn desks.